How Does He Do It?

I have some stories I'd like to share about my OH. He does not know I am going to be posting this, so to all you family members out there, please don't tell him!! For some reason, my OH does some things that really make me wonder. Seriously! Considering what he does for a living, he's a union carpenter foreman, and he only works on commercial buildings, like parking garages, hospitals and skyscrapers. So he works around danger all the time. But when it comes to simple projects around here, well, let's just say he is not very graceful. Now some of the things he does aren't always his fault, but then some of the things he does are of him just being plain stupid. I don't even know where to start.

About 2 years ago, we decided we wanted to build a shelter in our second pasture. A bigger shelter. Since my OH is a carpenter, he loves to build and can build anything we need. So he bought all the material and started the project. This of course is happening back when I had a job and I worked a lot of weekends. So I wasn't home for most of the barn being built. One Saturday while I was at work, I decided to call and check on him. He didn't answer the phone. I figured he was out working on the barn, in the rain. He had told me he was going to work on the roof. I also have a tendency to get worried when he is out working on projects at home, alone. You will see why in a minute. I started to get a gut feeling that something might be wrong. So since he wasn't answering the phone, I decided to call his mom, who only lives 3 miles from us. I asked her if she'd drive over to our house and check up on him. She said she would. Within a minute or two, I get a phone call at work. It was my OH. I told him I talked to his mom and asked her to drive out to check on him. He told me to call her back right away and tell her not to come out. So I did. Than I call my OH back. He tells me that he had an accident. I knew my gut feeling wasn't lying to me! While he was putting the metal roof on, he slipped and fell down the roof, off the edge and onto the ground. He said he landed on his feet, like a cat. He said the horses and goats looked at him funny. I can only imagine what was going through their heads. He said he felt fine. Later that night he told me he was starting to get really sore. The next day, he could barely move. But he did not sustain serious injuries.
Here is the barn and the roof he was installing when he slid and fell off. I still don't know whether to believe that he landed on his feet. I don't think he would have been as sore if he did. Yes, he built this entire thing himself. Alone. Now you see why I always worry when he is doing projects at home when he is alone. Oh, and this isn't the first time he has fallen off a roof. He fell off our house roof once too. I wasn't home for that one either.



In the middle of winter a couple years ago, on a weekend morning, he went out to feed the horses. I was at work, again. He called me to tell me what happened that morning. He told me he was pushing the wheelbarrow of hay out to the horses, stopped, picked up my sister's boy's hay and went to walk it down by the pond to throw it over the fence. He could hear Bailey running full speed behind him. He didn't think anything of it. He's walking along, in the mud, when all of a sudden, BAM! Bailey runs right into the back of his knee's. The impact caused his legs to come our from under him, he fell flat on his back, in the mud, while the hay came crashing down on top of his head. He said that my sister's boy sat there and nickered at him, I am sure he was wanting to know why his hay was now on the ground outside the fence. Every time I think of this story, I laugh so hard. I so wish I had been home to witness this and video tape it!

For those of you that have Aussie's, might know how this can happen. For some reason they feel the need to always be in the way, cut right in front of you and trip you, bite your legs and heels, and they can run FAST!! Does this look like a face that could possibly run full speed and ram into the back of your legs, taking them out from under you, while falling flat on your back? Nah! He wouldn't do that! He is too sweet!



Another incident happend again while I wasn't home. Why does all the funny stuff happen when I am at work? My OH went fishing with a friend one early morning in the fall. He cast out his line, he says he had a fish on, I think he just caught a snag. He jerked his fishing pole back to hook the fish and his lure came flying out of the water, straight back at him and the weight hit him right under the eye. Guess what? It happened twice! He ended up with a black eye.
This year, on the Fourth of July , my OH decided to fill up the bird feeders. I was actually at home, due to my retirement, so I finally got to witness one of his "incidents". He couldn't quite reach up high enough to get the bird feeder down, so he looked around to find something to stand on. He grabs the wheelbarrow. I said to him "That isn't going to be safe for you to climb on." He says "It'll work." Ok. So he climbs up into the wheelbarrow, he reaches for the bird feeder, he still can't get a hold of it. He than takes his foot and goes to put it on one of the handles. I again tell him "You can't stand on the handles! Go get a ladder!" He says "I got it!" He puts his weight onto the handle and the wheelbarrow tips from the weight. Just like I thought it would! He had gotten the bird feeder unhooked but once he had his weight on the handles and the wheelbarrow started tipping, he lost his balance and the bird feeder came down and whacked him in his face. He's yelling the whole time "I got it!". I couldn't help myself. I laughed so hard until I cried and my stomache hurt. I told him "I told you it wasn't safe!"



I could not stop laughing, I think I laughed for days! Here is the outcome from that idiotic move. Another black eye. He's not very smart is he? You would think with all his safety awards from work, that he would be more careful.



Then there was a time when he fixed up a scooter that his mom had left at our house. He got it running and decided to take it for a spin around the yard. One of our friends was here helping him and we stood back and watched. He was going really fast through our back yard, through the dirt pathway we push the wheelbarrow through, when we feed the horses, hit the tree root and literally went flying through the air, the scooter twisted, and it almost looked like he was going to have a good landing, than once he hit the ground the scooter just couldn't stay upright, my OH goes flying in the air and lands hard on the ground. He immediately jumps up and says "I'm alright!". The funny thing is after he came off the scooter, even though it looked like it was going to tip over, it kept on going straight towards the pond. It did eventually fall over, before the pond. He was so sore later that night and for the next couple days. And to think we ride quads! He sold the scooter. Hmmm........ I wonder why? So every time I see this coming up the lane, I start to wonder what is going to happen next.



Maybe he should start eating Wheatie's for breakfast, instead of Corn Pops and Bacon!